Dealing With Infidelity
After The Affair
When your partner has been unfaithful, a lot of things happen. Your world can become chaotic. Nothing looks or feels the same. What is true and what is a lie? The initial shock can stay for quite some time. Anger and a rollercoaster of emotions come in waves. We are angry at our partner, and we are grieving the loss. We have a lot of bad days and very few good days. It seems that continuous questions rise up within you:
- How could it happen to me?
- How did I miss it? I thought we had a great relationship.
- I must be responsible.
- Is it really possible to work through this, put the past behind us and move on?
- Can I or will I ever learn to trust my partner again?
Dealing with infidelity is never easy – it is one of the most difficult challenges to any relationship. Many of your deepest questions can only be answered by the partner who has had the affair. Yet, the one who has the affair often finds openness difficult, and he or she can be overwhelmed by the shame and guilt. They do not know what to do with the profound hurt that they see they have caused in their partner’s eyes.
Recovering From An Affair
The good news is that Dr. Ottawa can help you find your way through this difficult time. While infidelity can mean the end of the relationship, it doesn’t have to, we can rebuild. Recovering from an affair is possible. In fact, many couples do. Couples counselling is essential to helping couples talk through the situation, to find a pathway forward to help repair and rebuild the relationship in a meaningful way.
Recovering is difficult, uncomfortable, yet at the same time meaningful work. Dr. Ottawa believes that it is one of the most important, life changing work that individuals in their lifetime can do. It will bring peace of mind and well-being for you and your relationship and for all those who are touched by it.
How Counselling Helps
After an affair, couples seek counselling for a variety of different reasons.
- To put to rest those questions that won’t go away until they’ve surfaced and been dealt with.
- To understand their actions, their reactions to themselves and each other.
- To regain equilibrium, rebuild confidence and heal. (No, you are not crazy, what you are feeling is entirely normal. Yes, it can get better.)
- To discover that they DO have choices and how to keep anger and pain from dictating those choices or their future.
- To look to their future using the past as a tool to make them stronger, so they can each come out a better person no matter what path they chose in their marriage.
- To repair and rebuild the relationship in a meaningful way.
Whatever your questions and your specific situation, there is no need to struggle on your own. We invite you to call to our office at 780-991-5117 and get your questions answered or make an appointment.
Words can’t express my gratitude to all the help and counseling you provided us during this difficult time in our lives. I wanted to sincerely thank-you for helping save our marriage. You are a difference maker and its important that you know you had such an impact on our lives. Thanks again.R.B.
We initially contacted Dr. Ottawa Easingwood in 2011 for help with relationship difficulties and we have been seeing her regularly for eight months. She has been very helpful and we have found her counsel to be wise and discerning. She has a professional manner with clients and at the same time is pleasant and non-judgemental. Drawing upon considerable experience and training in the field of marriage counselling, Dr. Easingwood’s sessions and homework served as a catalyst for many discussions between us that led us to confront directly those issues that Dr. Easingwood helped us identify.
Since we first sought Dr. Easingwood’s help we have made significant progress toward the goals we set for ourselves. This is largely due to her questioning technique, guidance and insightful comments. We would certainly recommend New Start Counselling to other individuals or couples who require professional counselling for relationship issues.H.H.